Day 24 - What the..

I got sick.

Actually, sicker than I can remember being. This Health Month has been a pretty ill month for me - I'm not sure of the lower caloric intake is affecting my immune system or what.

So I spent 3 or 4 days in total discomfort. Flu, officially, but with a nasty fever.

I made a few field calls based on this:

1. I had a shot of ginger Brandy mixed with hot water and honey one night when i wouldn't stop coughing. It worked wonders.

2. I had a Vitamin Water (verboten for it's crystalline fructose) that accounted for a full day's calories.

Neither of these I feel guilty about, nor do i consider a failing of the HM regulations. Sure, I could have gotten something other than vitamin water, but I needed salt and electrolytes and time was of the essence.

Today I had some vegetarian chili and multigrain bread, the most complete meal since Sunday. I won't bore you with what I had on those off days - mostly it was brown rice or vegetable broth. I don't care to remember it in detail.

Day 18. Meh Meh.

Depression was worse today. Funny thing about depression - when you're in it? You don't actually want to get out. People, they try to cheer you up and snap you out of it, and you just resent it. You don't want to be cheered up, because in that state all you can think is that "cheery" is absolute bullshit.

You don't want to let it go. You can't let it go.

CONSUMED

Breakfast:

Banana

Cup of Tea

Lunch:

Leftover Pesto Sausage Pasta

Snack:

Oat Bran Pretzels

Dinner:

Red Pepper Hummus

Slice Wheat Bread

Olives

Pellegrino

Dessert:

Licorice with an ennui sauce.

Day 17. Meh.

Got sort of blue today, and couldn't tell why. I think it's caloric, but that's the thing about depression - when you're in it you don't WANT to cure it. And you certainly don't want to think your mood could be so adversely affected by only eating the meat out of a sandwich for lunch.

Today was a challenge, because our office had lunch catered, which consisted of danish, pastry, doughnuts, delicious looking sandwiches, cookies, and for dessert, cakes. I stared at the entire table glumly when the doorbell rang - apparently one of our vendors had treated us to lunch: 12 hot pizzas.

Fuck.

So I made it through that, but then everyone was going out to dinner at this fancy japanese restaurant where you grill your food, and I couldn't stomach (literally) the idea of having to compete for the few veggies while everyone was throwing kobe beef on the grill and drinking their Sapporos, only to go out afterward for drinks. 

Being the only one sucks. I can understand why M caved for the drinking aspect - the loss of sociality is the worst part.

So I went home and fell asleep in my clothes at 11. The phone rang, but I didn't bother to see who it was - it didn't matter. I wasn't going anywhere.

CONSUMED

Breakfast:

Banana

Cup of Roasted Green Tea

Lunch:

Turkey breast

Green salad

Snack:

Almonds

Dinner:

Whole Wheat Pasta

Chicken Apple Sausage

Chickepeas

Vegan Pesto

Day 16.

I finally got out of bed and made it to the 9:30 Pilates class at my gym. Funny thing - the demographic of that class is entirely Park Slope women who don't have to work (or work from home). I was the only guy in there, and couldn't help but feel like the UPS Delivery boy on a Desperate Housewives episode. Or, conversely, like a turkey leg in a wolf den. Yikes.

My weight is still about 180 lbs. Hmm.

Made it out safely, though, and made it to my local for a couple of non-alcoholic drinks. Oddly, I didn't even WANT a cocktail. I'm sure that will change.

CONSUMED

Breakfast:

Multi Berry Smoothie

Green Tea

Snack:

Lara Bar

Lunch:

Leftover Sesame Orange Chicken

Brown Rice

Snack:

Greens+ Protein Bar

Dinner:

Amy's No Cheese Organic Pizza

White Bean and Escarole Soup

Hummus

Bar:

Soda and Lime x2

Dessert:

Licorice

Day 15. Halfway.

The halfway point. Honestly, I'm bored of it, of course. M's dropped the tee-totaling aspect but has kept the diet indefinitely (something I can totally relate to - I'm going to go back to the no pork, red meat once a week dealie after all this). No one in the NYC office is doing it anymore. D even admitted she wouldn't have done it if not out of support for me. So it's tough - I mean, no one's watching. No one would care if I stopped.

Despite that, despite the boredom and the cravings and the fucking DISHES, I do think there's some validity for me. I need this kind of hard reset every once in a while to put me back on the path.

That said, Super Bowl Sunday is gonna rule.

CONSUMED

Breakfast:

Multi-Berry Smoothie (what, they're delicious.)

Fig Porridge with Rice Milk

Roasted Green Tea

Lunch:

Malaysian Curry with Carrots, Seitan and Potatoes

Brown Rice

Steamed Spinach Dumplings

Green Mint Tea

Snack:

Hummus and Chips

Oh, I missed the gym due to the holiday. Tomorrow.

Day 14: AMNESTY DAY.

I hadn't even thought about Amnesty Day until I realized that there was a whole lot of football to watch.

Amnesty Day, to review, is traditionally a "get out of jail free" card for those times where you fuck up. However, it has increasingly become Health Month's Rumspringa (look it up). It's ostensibly a single indulgence of a single vice. 

D and I chose beer, as we missed drinking far and away. We started drinking halfway through the Pats game. Funny thing was, I only made it through 2 beers before I just felt...shitty. Kind of tired and headachy (to be fair, i did sit and watch 6 HOURS of football). I ended up falling aslpe on the couch. Not exactly the wild time it could've been. C'est dommage.

CONSUMED

Breakfast:

I think I skipped Breakfast. I honestly cannot remember, and it was yesterday. Let's just say Smoothie?

Football Snacks:

Popcorn

Olives

Dinner:

Spiced Chicken

Hummus

Baba Ganouj

Foule

Tabouli

Grape Leaves

2 Beers. (Boston Ale - and it worked. Go Pats.)

Day 13

Man, I got behind. Day 13 was Saturday.

Uh...It was OK? The weekends are always kind of tough. I was supposed to truck it out to Williamsburg for a friend's birthday. but ended up sitting home, watching Lost. It's just...easier.

CONSUMED

Breakfast:

Green Tea

Peach Smoothie

Lunch:

Roasted Vegetable and Hummus Sandwich on Whole Wheat

Green Salad

Chicken Apple Sausage

White Peony Tea

Snack:

Olive Hummus

Whole Wheat Pita

Dinner:

Sesame Orange Chicken

Steamed Broccoli

Brown Rice

Dessert:

Licorice

Day 12

The things that get to you are the things you never really even thought about. Just the ritual of making coffee in the morning was such a part of my routine that now I find myself late for work. Does that even make sense? I just have to do things way out of order now.

I failed this week on the exercise front - mostly because I've got this nagging cough and I'm just so fucking TIRED all the time. Keith thinks it's lack of carbs, so I've stepped up my rice intake.

It just gets boring, and I think that's part of the problem. I just run out of things to cook, and since I can't just cook a little of something, i end up eating the same thing three days in a row.

This point in the exercise (almost halfway) usually brings out one of 2 things: quitting or doubting. I'm definitely in the latter category. Health Month is great for the binge and purge, but it ain't exactly healthy. But like someone once said, I can do absolutes - it's the moderation where it gets a little fuzzy.

CONSUMED

Breakfast:

Berry Smoothie

Lara Bar (these have been a godsend)

Lunch: 

Whole Wheat and Chicken Sausage deal

Snack:

another Lara Bar (cocoa molé)

Dinner:

More Whole Wheat Chicken Sausage dealie

Movie Snacks (too many, BTW):

Tabooli

Baba Ganouj

Olives

Popcorn

Whole Wheat Pita Chips

Dessert:

Vegan Chocolate Cookie

oof. too much.

Day 11

Man, people are dropping like flies. The middle of health month (which this is, just about) inevitably raises uncaffeinated missives about the very legitimacy of the concept. I understand. At this point, the novelty has run thin, the body is purged of all of it's stores, and you really, REALLY want a Chocolate Cream Cheese Muffin and a cigar. Fair enough.

And I agree - if this kind of strict change of lifestyle only makes you return to your old ways in spades, it's probably bad for you. But some of us are using this as a big ol CTR-ALT-DEL on our lives, attempting to shake off the habits once and for all, so we can reform and return to a more realistic and sustainable way of living. With bourbon. Of course, with bourbon.

CONSUMED

Breakfast:

Multi Berry Yogurt Smoothie (I love my blender.)

Lunch:

Chickpea Salad

Whole Wheat Pita

Dessert: 

Odwalla Bar

Snack:

Greens+ Protein Bar

Dinner:

Whole Wheat Penne with Italian Wheat Sausage, Basil pureé

Sanfaustino Raspberry Lime Water

Dessert:

Panda Licorice (Molasses, Wheat Flour and Anise)

Day 10.

It's a good thing I have a lot of Lost to watch, because it's about all I've been doing. I always have such grand plans for health month, the perennial "organizing my photos", or cleaning up, or doing other such maintenance things that drinking gets in the way of. Alas, it only goes to show that the excuse of drinking and going out is just that - I'm just really lazy.

CONSUMED

Breakfast:

Porridge with Apple and Almonds

Kuchika Tea (it's twigs.)

Lunch:

Take out! Black Pepper Seitan with Chinese Broccoli

Brown Rice

Steamed Hokkaido Pumpkin

Miso Soup

Dinner:

Chickpea Salad (Chickpeas, Tomatoes, Cucumber, Onion, Garlic, Jalapeno)

Brussels Sprouts

Sockeye with Tahini Dressing

Snack:

Chocolate Greens+ Bar

Perrier with Lemon

Day 9

I woke up this morning and couldn't sit up. It hurt to cough, which was unfortunate since my winter cough has settled in for the duration. Guess I wailed a little too hard on my abs. So, no Pilates.

The amount of time cooking takes up is extraordinary, seconded  only by the amount of time it takes to do all the dishes. Plus side is I'm suddenly flush with cash. Downside being that when I have 30 minutes at home between work and a movie, I'm relegated to eating either leftovers or salsa.

We went to see There Will Be Blood last night. Sigh. Flaws aside, it really made me want some whisky. And, at the finale, a milkshake.

CONSUMED

Breakfast:

Banana

Odwalla Bar

Lunch:

Maple-Chipotle Sockeye

Roasted Brussels Sprouts

Brown Rice

Dinner:

Salsa and baked corn chips

Bit of Whole Wheat Pita

Movie Snacks:

Baked Whole Wheat Pita Chips (way to go, D)

Popcorn (homemade - I felt like a grandma)

Unsweetened Honeysuckle Tea

Dessert:

Coconut Sorbet with blackberries

"Cold Season" Herbal tea.

Day 8: Back to they gym

Well, I wasn't feeling 100% yet, but I figured I couldn't stall working out any further. So, after a big smoothie, I headed to the gym.

First, the weigh in: 181 lbs. That's up about 6 from my average. Not terrible, but considering I haven't been building much muscle, not great. I can definitely SEE it.

I started with the treadmill. At my peak I could do 6 miles without much stress - ha! I hat the 20 minute mark (2.5 miles) and was exhausted. I'm not sure if I'm still that sick, weak, or just plain out of shape, but it sucked. Bad.

After that, a rather feeble 10 minutes on the rowing machine, followed by some ab exercises. The one problem I have with the gym is that it takes me 30 minutes to warm up and at least an hour to go through my whole routine, so it's effectively just too long. 

I need to get up earlier.

CONSUMED

Breakfast:

Multi Berry Smoothie

Lunch:

Roast Chicken

Beets (STILL)

Brown Rice with Goddess Dressing

Dessert:

Peanut Butter Cookie (thanks mihow!)

Snack: 

Baked Corn Chips and Pico de Gallo

Hummus and Brown Rise Crisps

Dinner:

Brown Rice Salad (Rice, Greens, Dried Fig, Dried Cranberry

Weekend Edition: Day 6+7

Well, there's definitely one thing i can say about this health month over last year - I'm certainly not starving. Last night D-train and I roast our very first chicken, and, I'll admit, pulling some errant feathers out kind of freaked my shit. BUT, I was able to recompose myself enough to make the naked chicken do a charlie chaplain dance before i shoved tons of tarragon and garlic under its skin.

We ended up eating a bunch of HM Approved® snacks during the football (and beer or no beer, a Pats win still rules), so we didn't even eat the chicken until today. I also cleaved it in two with a, you guessed it, cleaver, which marks the first time I've ever cut an animal in twain. Awesome.

Uh, not much else to report except my body seems finally to have adjusted to the radical shift in diet. I definitely miss me some red meat, but I think I'll be back on the once-a-week train once this madness ends.

Speaking of endings, if the Pats go all the way (which is one victory against the Chargers from happening, sorry Satan Manning) - Health Month ends Super Bowl Sunday. I will not shed a tear for the premature close - if the writers can steal the Golden Globes from me, I can steal a few days back for beer.

CONSUMED

Day 6:

Breakfast:

Granola with Soy Yogurt, cranberries and cashews

Kombucha

Lunch:

Leftovers from Day, uh, 4? The Ragout stuff.

Green Tea

Dinner:

Popcorn

Hummus and Brown Rice Crisps

Olives

1 Stuffed Grape Leaf (no meat)

Dessert (!):

Coconut Sorbet

Fresh Pineapple

Day 7:

Brunch:

Pineapple and Wild Berry Smoothie (with real yogurt)

Whole Wheat and Raisin roll

Uncured Turkey Bacon (totally. so awesome, thanks Toby!) with Grade B Maple Syrup

Green Tea

Snack:

Sesame Pretzels

INKO White Tea

Dinner:

Chicken and Hummus sandwich on Spelt Whole Wheat

Roasted Red Potatoes (suck it, Raoul.)

Day 5.

If I don't keep up on eating, the headaches get unbearable. I had no idea how many calories I was taking in on my normal schedule - it's kind of nuts I'm not the size of a house.

Also, Kombucha is lovely, it really is, but it is NO substitute for beer. First of all, you can only drink one, TOPS, a day (even that threatens to turn your digestive tract into some sort of super-digestor...not good). Second, they're effin' expensive. Third, well, they're not beer, damnit.

CONSUMED

Breakfast:

Granola, Soy Yogurt and Dried Cranberries

Kombucha

Lunch:

Leftovers from Day 4 (Tempeh Ragout, et al)

Snack:

Greens+ Energy bar

Dinner:

Bowl of Leftover Brown rice with Goddess Dressing

Beets (I've eaten so many beets over the past 24 hours that the entirety of my digestive tract is bright pink. AWESOME.)

Day 4

One of the great things about Health Month is the amount of cooking I've been doing...well, it's a plus and a minus. I enjoy it, and haven't been doing it that often as of late. The drawback being it takes a LOT of time and I hate grocery shopping in NYC (imagine NYC drivers armed with shopping carts, with aisles as narrow as italian alleyways). 

That said, I haven't had one meal out since this debacle started, lunch OR dinner. That means the $20 I'm usually spending a day feeding myself is being saved. Mostly for groceries, but I'm sure I'm saving some somewhere.

CONSUMED

Breakfast:

Smoothie (Wild Berries, Banana, ALMONDS, soy yogurt, ice)

Kombucha

Lunch:

Leftovers from Dinner on Day 2 (Chicken Sausage, et al)

Snack:

Unsweetened White Tea (INKO's - really good)

Some crazy chocolate covered energy bar that had Royal Jelly in it. (calm down, the chocolate was sweetened with barley malt)

Dinner:

Wild Mushroom and Tempeh Ragout (so, so good)

Candied Beets and Garlic

Roasted Fennel

Brown Rice

The only big hurdles I see are the weekends - I get bored easily. Maybe I'll find a good veggie place, finally, in Park Slope. Also Football - I have GOT to find some nutritious snacks and something to drink.

On Exercise...

I'm still not exercising. I want to, but exercise takes an entire schedule change, and those take a commitment that needs to be curated, like transplanting a bush. If you slack a few days, it just won't take.

I always want to start these changes on Mondays, and as I was near death this Monday, I fear now I'll have to wait until next Monday. Maybe not - maybe I can get in gear tomorrow. 

My office is trying to get us some discounts for Equinox, too, and John Mayer works out there, so that might be some added incentive. :P

Day 3.

The headaches abated later in the day today. I think the thing I miss the most at first is the snacking...i'm a pretty hungry guy most days, and the absence of a late afternoon snack really hurts. Also, when I'm home I instinctively look for something to chew on. Freudian basis or no, that prospect is far less appealing when all you have is mulberries.

CONSUMED

Breakfast:

Cup of Green Tea

Banana

Odwalla bar (ew.)

Lunch:

Leftovers from Day 1 Dinner (Mustard Chicken et al.)

Snack: 

High Protein Peanut Butter Chocolate bar (which was green. Isn't peanut butter brown?)

Dinner:

Leftovers from Day 2 Dinner (Whole Wheat pasta, et al.)

Kombucha

Some have complained of boredom - I can relate. Lucky for me, work has been busy enough and I have acres of Lost episodes to watch before the 31st. The only snag I see in this whole Health Month clause is the Superbowl occurring on Feb. 3. Brown, I know you could give half a shit about football, but if it gets you out of this drinkless purgatory 4 days early....

Day 2: So Far...

I don't want to say it's been easy yet - it hasn't. But honestly, the gluttony and drunkeness that I set upon myself this holiday season left me feeling sluggish and thick. At least when I'm eating less, eating right, I'm feeling a bit more spry.

Day 2 found the headaches increase (who knew I needed caffeine so much?) but the illness abate. I was still wicked tired, but I found myself feeling more, well, like the old me. I even ventured out of the house for the first time in 36 hours to a bar. Soda water for me!

CONSUMED

Breakfast:

Smoothie consisting of mixed berries, banana, nonfat yogurt and grade B maple syrup

Kombucha

Lunch:

Leftovers from Day 1 

Snack:

Granola

Raw Almonds

Dinner:

Whole Wheat pasta with Tabbouli and Chicken Apple Sausage

Cup Green Tea

Bar:

Soda Water with lime

I tried to keep to my rule of no eating past 9, but broke and had a snack around 11. Oops.

Day 1: Rocky Start

So, after a weekend of some very un-Health Month like behavior (including an 11:58pm drink of Allen's Ginger Brandy for good measure), I awoke this morning to find myself ill. Not the usual Blue Monday accumulated collection of chemical fallouts, no, but actually sick. Like, a flu or something.

So, alas, Health Month's physical aspect had to be put on hold for a bit while my body recovers. Hopefully this strict diet will fuel that speedy recovery.

CONSUMED:

Breakfast:

Porridge with Goji Berries, Dried Cranberries (fruit-sweetened), Cacao Nibs, Mulberries and Pistachios.

Half a banana

Handful of granola

Lunch:

Baby carrots and Hummus

Boiled Peanuts

Dinner:

Baked mustard chicken

Brown Rice with Gomasio

Wilted greens with vinegar

Dessert:

Dried Cranberries

Beverages:

Kombucha

Water

No real red flags, thusfar, except for missing a beer during football. I, for one, welcome this shift back to center. I only hope I can kick this mystery ailment soon.

The Rules.

OK, so here are the original rules:

Part A. The banned list.

No Alcohol
No Smoking
No Caffeine
No Drugs - doctor-prescribed stuff is ok, as is Advil or whatever for those 'week 2 headaches,' but nothing else.
No "Big Bread" - this basically means no bread/bagels/muffins/etc. But, a pita is ok, and so is a tortilla.
No Red Meat or Pork - giving up bacon really sucks.
No Pasta
No Cheese
No Sugar
No Chips / Crackers
No Cream / Cream Sauces
No Artificial Sweeteners (aspartame, saccharin, etc.)
No Fried Foods
No Butter / Margarine
No Fast Food
No added salt - you can cook with salt, but no dumping table salt on you food after it hits the plate.

Part B. The allowances.
Light salad dressing is allowed on salad - hey, if i'm going to eat a freaking salad...
Small portions of Rice are allowed - for things like sushi, or a wrap can be "light on the rice"
Only enough Oil to cook with is allowed. About 1/2 tbsp per serving (less if possible)

Part C. Amnesty Day.
We are human, and sometimes we mess up. With health month, this is built in. You get one 'Amnesty Day' for the month. This means that for one day, you can have One of the things on the banned list. So, if there's a party you want to go to during HM, you can use your amnesty day then and have a drink. Or if you have a crazy sweet tooth, you can have a piece of cake at the end of week 2, as a halfway point reward.

Now, my Preferred Rules:

Part A. The banned list.

No Alcohol
No Smoking
No Coffee
No Drugs - doctor-prescribed stuff is ok, as is Advil or whatever for those 'week 2 headaches,' but nothing else.
No Red Meat or Pork - giving up bacon really sucks.
No Pasta
No Dairy
No Sugar
No Chips / Crackers
No Artificial Sweeteners (aspartame, saccharin, etc.)
No Fried Foods
No Fast Food
No added salt - you can cook with salt, but no dumping table salt on you food after it hits the plate.
No Eggs (I just threw this in because I hate eggs, and I figure i should go for the easy points where I can)

Part B. The allowances.

Brown Rice
Whole Wheat pasta or breads
Green Tea or Kombucha are OK (low Caffeine)
Maple Syrup

Part C. Amnesty Day.

We are human, and sometimes we mess up. With health month, this is built in. You get one 'Amnesty Day' for the month. This means that for one day, you can have One of the things on the banned list. So, if there's a party you want to go to during HM, you can use your amnesty day then and have a drink. Or if you have a crazy sweet tooth, you can have a piece of cake at the end of week 2, as a halfway point reward.

Part D. Exercise

I'm still working out my schedule, but it will be something like this:

Monday: Strength Training
Tuesday: Pilates
Wednesday: Cardio
Thursday: Yoga
Friday: Strength Training
Saturday: Yoga/Pilates

Health Month '08! This time..it's PHYSICAL.

Oh, lord. Health Month.

Well, here we go again. Last year, if any of you remember, I went into Health Month with both guns blazing. As one of the usually healthier participants, I figured it would be a regular fat-free vegan cake walk.

Oh, how wrong I was.

I hadn't realized how much certain habits had become routed in my general sanity. A cigarette at the bar, a beer after work - each of these things on their owwn is not a terrible thing to skip, but combined it added up to an entire upheaval of my day-to-day.

That, coupled with post-holiday blues and a slew of personal drama led me to be pretty fucking miserable. But I did it. I did it.

Now, Health Month '08 begins on Monday, and although last year sobered my expectations, I'm no less committed. In fact, this year I'm upping the ante: I'm going to add a slew of exercise to the routine. I'm going to monitor and publish my progress on Traineo. And I'm going to keep this blog up for the entertainment of all y'all.

But celibacy? Out.