Day 24 - What the..

I got sick.

Actually, sicker than I can remember being. This Health Month has been a pretty ill month for me - I'm not sure of the lower caloric intake is affecting my immune system or what.

So I spent 3 or 4 days in total discomfort. Flu, officially, but with a nasty fever.

I made a few field calls based on this:

1. I had a shot of ginger Brandy mixed with hot water and honey one night when i wouldn't stop coughing. It worked wonders.

2. I had a Vitamin Water (verboten for it's crystalline fructose) that accounted for a full day's calories.

Neither of these I feel guilty about, nor do i consider a failing of the HM regulations. Sure, I could have gotten something other than vitamin water, but I needed salt and electrolytes and time was of the essence.

Today I had some vegetarian chili and multigrain bread, the most complete meal since Sunday. I won't bore you with what I had on those off days - mostly it was brown rice or vegetable broth. I don't care to remember it in detail.

Day 18. Meh Meh.

Depression was worse today. Funny thing about depression - when you're in it? You don't actually want to get out. People, they try to cheer you up and snap you out of it, and you just resent it. You don't want to be cheered up, because in that state all you can think is that "cheery" is absolute bullshit.

You don't want to let it go. You can't let it go.

CONSUMED

Breakfast:

Banana

Cup of Tea

Lunch:

Leftover Pesto Sausage Pasta

Snack:

Oat Bran Pretzels

Dinner:

Red Pepper Hummus

Slice Wheat Bread

Olives

Pellegrino

Dessert:

Licorice with an ennui sauce.

Day 17. Meh.

Got sort of blue today, and couldn't tell why. I think it's caloric, but that's the thing about depression - when you're in it you don't WANT to cure it. And you certainly don't want to think your mood could be so adversely affected by only eating the meat out of a sandwich for lunch.

Today was a challenge, because our office had lunch catered, which consisted of danish, pastry, doughnuts, delicious looking sandwiches, cookies, and for dessert, cakes. I stared at the entire table glumly when the doorbell rang - apparently one of our vendors had treated us to lunch: 12 hot pizzas.

Fuck.

So I made it through that, but then everyone was going out to dinner at this fancy japanese restaurant where you grill your food, and I couldn't stomach (literally) the idea of having to compete for the few veggies while everyone was throwing kobe beef on the grill and drinking their Sapporos, only to go out afterward for drinks. 

Being the only one sucks. I can understand why M caved for the drinking aspect - the loss of sociality is the worst part.

So I went home and fell asleep in my clothes at 11. The phone rang, but I didn't bother to see who it was - it didn't matter. I wasn't going anywhere.

CONSUMED

Breakfast:

Banana

Cup of Roasted Green Tea

Lunch:

Turkey breast

Green salad

Snack:

Almonds

Dinner:

Whole Wheat Pasta

Chicken Apple Sausage

Chickepeas

Vegan Pesto

Day 16.

I finally got out of bed and made it to the 9:30 Pilates class at my gym. Funny thing - the demographic of that class is entirely Park Slope women who don't have to work (or work from home). I was the only guy in there, and couldn't help but feel like the UPS Delivery boy on a Desperate Housewives episode. Or, conversely, like a turkey leg in a wolf den. Yikes.

My weight is still about 180 lbs. Hmm.

Made it out safely, though, and made it to my local for a couple of non-alcoholic drinks. Oddly, I didn't even WANT a cocktail. I'm sure that will change.

CONSUMED

Breakfast:

Multi Berry Smoothie

Green Tea

Snack:

Lara Bar

Lunch:

Leftover Sesame Orange Chicken

Brown Rice

Snack:

Greens+ Protein Bar

Dinner:

Amy's No Cheese Organic Pizza

White Bean and Escarole Soup

Hummus

Bar:

Soda and Lime x2

Dessert:

Licorice

Day 15. Halfway.

The halfway point. Honestly, I'm bored of it, of course. M's dropped the tee-totaling aspect but has kept the diet indefinitely (something I can totally relate to - I'm going to go back to the no pork, red meat once a week dealie after all this). No one in the NYC office is doing it anymore. D even admitted she wouldn't have done it if not out of support for me. So it's tough - I mean, no one's watching. No one would care if I stopped.

Despite that, despite the boredom and the cravings and the fucking DISHES, I do think there's some validity for me. I need this kind of hard reset every once in a while to put me back on the path.

That said, Super Bowl Sunday is gonna rule.

CONSUMED

Breakfast:

Multi-Berry Smoothie (what, they're delicious.)

Fig Porridge with Rice Milk

Roasted Green Tea

Lunch:

Malaysian Curry with Carrots, Seitan and Potatoes

Brown Rice

Steamed Spinach Dumplings

Green Mint Tea

Snack:

Hummus and Chips

Oh, I missed the gym due to the holiday. Tomorrow.

Day 14: AMNESTY DAY.

I hadn't even thought about Amnesty Day until I realized that there was a whole lot of football to watch.

Amnesty Day, to review, is traditionally a "get out of jail free" card for those times where you fuck up. However, it has increasingly become Health Month's Rumspringa (look it up). It's ostensibly a single indulgence of a single vice. 

D and I chose beer, as we missed drinking far and away. We started drinking halfway through the Pats game. Funny thing was, I only made it through 2 beers before I just felt...shitty. Kind of tired and headachy (to be fair, i did sit and watch 6 HOURS of football). I ended up falling aslpe on the couch. Not exactly the wild time it could've been. C'est dommage.

CONSUMED

Breakfast:

I think I skipped Breakfast. I honestly cannot remember, and it was yesterday. Let's just say Smoothie?

Football Snacks:

Popcorn

Olives

Dinner:

Spiced Chicken

Hummus

Baba Ganouj

Foule

Tabouli

Grape Leaves

2 Beers. (Boston Ale - and it worked. Go Pats.)

Day 13

Man, I got behind. Day 13 was Saturday.

Uh...It was OK? The weekends are always kind of tough. I was supposed to truck it out to Williamsburg for a friend's birthday. but ended up sitting home, watching Lost. It's just...easier.

CONSUMED

Breakfast:

Green Tea

Peach Smoothie

Lunch:

Roasted Vegetable and Hummus Sandwich on Whole Wheat

Green Salad

Chicken Apple Sausage

White Peony Tea

Snack:

Olive Hummus

Whole Wheat Pita

Dinner:

Sesame Orange Chicken

Steamed Broccoli

Brown Rice

Dessert:

Licorice